I'm at His door again. Been thinking about those lab rats. The ones who'd push the button for cocaine over and over even with food right there even with water right there even while dying just pushing and pushing because whatever's in that button feels better than the empty cage He hasn't killed me yet. Just hurt me. I've had worse. JayJay used to say I was making investments in my future but all I invested was pieces of myself handed out like business cards in motel rooms and backseats at least He keeps what He takes doesn't pass me around like spare change doesn't make me smile while He does it