Round harvest-time I slip away
to spare them winter's crueler teeth
while summer's warmth still gilds their skin—
such mercy-lies I whisper sweet
"Last night how you held me..."
Each season brings another garden
where lovers press their hopes to void
and I, still thinking kindness guides,
leave wreckage in my wake
"I love how you run your fingers through my hair. Stay... please just stay."
Ben...
I watched you die
once as prey, your new-grown antlers
catching sunlight just before they caught
the earth.
I was the lioness.
I watched you die
once as soldier, your stern mouth softening
as the bullet made limbs limp just before the mountain claimed you.
I was the winter wind.
I watched you die
once as lover, your hands reaching for a heart that wasn't there just before the asphalt took you...
Where They,
and the whippoorwill,
do warble up above
neath waning, turpentine moonshine
those evensongs
I long to be a part thereof
—to ever trill their twilit shrills
of naught but love.
Nighttime madrigals I scrawl,
imbibed on mulled wine
—honeyed, and berried,
my varied arbor drought.
My dripping ink intones
hollowed hymns
—pantomime.
Far from-like the star-...
I'm at His door again.
Been thinking about those lab rats.
The ones who'd push the button for cocaine
over and over
even with food right there
even with water right there
even while dying
just pushing and pushing
because whatever's in that button
feels better than the empty cage
He hasn't killed me yet. Just hurt me.
I've had worse.
JayJay used to say I was making investments
in my future
but a...
