The key they’d given me still fit the lock, but the house no longer felt like home. It’s just a house now that is made of bricks, a foundation of concrete instead of love like I thought it would always be. There are cracks within those bricks making the foundation no longer strong, so the building will collapse one day and I will wait for that day. I will wait to hear those bricks fall down while I silently cry to myself, that I will no longer get back the warmth and safety I once felt. Where did that go? All that warmth and safety I need to keep me alive, is gone into ashes.

I hear the click of the key and budge the door wide, and a swirl of the memories come screaming back at me. The laughter, the joy, and the tears all echo throughout my mind. But those voices are convincing me that this place is still my home but these brick walls no longer have the strength to carry me. This roof above me feels like dropping is the only solution here, falling from a great height to hit me in the head to capture my body and bring me back to the place I should call home. But this house isn’t my home no longer.

I can’t bare to take a step inside as I know that I would be trapped, but it’s my fault that I wanted to have one last look at it before they destroy the house I once called home. Standing in the doorway, looking into a window of my past watching those mornings during the week. My brother would be holding a football and I would try to tackle the football from his hands. My sister sat on the kitchen island refusing to go to school. My mother trying to calm my sister down. All the chaos would be happening downstairs, while my father would still be asleep as he works late every night.

There is a tear shredding upon my cheek as I struggle to remember those last minutes that were precious, so homely and kept somewhere safe. And it feels like this key, has opened a door I wanted to close years ago. Staring at my past, makes me realise it’s just a house now and the key in my hand isn’t mine.

I look at the window of my life, and I decide to close it. Goodbye forever, I won’t be saying hello again as this is the last time I will step in this house.

This is a key that still fits the lock.

This is a house that no longer feels like home.

And all I do now is cry.