I can see it. It’s getting closer.

A little more.

Just a little more.

All I can think about it reaching the shore.

My hands grasp the soft earth below me, the salt stings the cut on my leg. I pull myself up out of the cool water and gasp with effort. Oh how it hurts!

I roll onto my back panting the salty air in. I’m so tired. My head pounds with excruciating pain. I just want to go back home…..

And yet home will never be the same. Home will only always be a memory in my head, a safe place I can never return to. Although I want to cry, I cannot. All I do is close my eyes and remember the soft green grass, the bluest of skies, perfect winds and the most beautiful sunsets.

I find myself there; I never want to return to this horrible grey place I’ve come to.

This place of unknowns and fear and heartache. This place where I struggle to breathe salt air and my eyes are dimmed with dark skies.

I cannot choose my circumstance. I cannot control fate. I cannot care for what tomorrow brings.

To everyone I love I am dead.

And to them I must remain that way.