It’s magical. The way that the land and the sea meet. The goldfish, so majestic, looks at me through the glass, the only thing that separates us. I want to know what she’s thinking, I want to be inside of her mind for only a moment to understand what it must be like to be on the other side of the glass. The side of the glass where the water consumes you; the side of the glass where you can swim and never grow tired.

I reach my hand out, somehow thinking that I would be able to feel her scales beneath my hand. But alas, my hand only touches the glass and I am felt imagining what it must feel like to touch her beautiful sunset colored scales. She presses her face against the glass, and I think that she wants to know what my head feels like to.

I think, that this feeling, that this magical thing, between land and sea will always be a mystery. The knowing of glass that separates what one would wash over in moments, instead shows a beautiful separation of what could never meet.

I think about how wonderful it is, that I can see this living creature breathing on the other side of me in a case of water, and somehow not be drowned with the rushes the water would overcome me, if the glass was not there. Such a fragile thing, that if it should break we would be flooded out. But as for now, I am grateful for the glass. I am grateful for this magical moment with the land in the sea meet.

I can see it. It’s getting closer.

A little more.

Just a little more.

All I can think about it reaching the shore.

My hands grasp the soft earth below me, the salt stings the cut on my leg. I pull myself up out of the cool water and gasp with effort. Oh how it hurts!

I roll onto my back panting the salty air in. I’m so tired. My head pounds with excruciating pain. I just want to go back home…..

And yet home will never be the same. Home will only always be a memory in my head, a safe place I can never return to. Although I want to cry, I cannot. All I do is close my eyes and remember the soft green grass, the bluest of skies, perfect winds and the most beautiful sunsets.

I find myself there; I never want to return to this horrible grey place I’ve come to.

This place of unknowns and fear and heartache. This place where I struggle to breathe salt air and my eyes are dimmed with dark skies.

I cannot choose my circumstance. I cannot control fate. I cannot care for what tomorrow brings.

To everyone I love I am dead.

And to them I must remain that way.

He held a cup of hot chocolate in his hands as he sat by the fire, warm and bright. Outside light snow fell, covering the ground in soft white. The wind was cool, knocking against the window panes flakes with snowflakes. Inside, jazz music played, quieting the fireside room with peace. He leaned back, finally relaxed. Drifting off sleep; dreams filled with hope and soundness. And there he slept, no worries at all.

I wish I had never let go Now I’m on this terrible low Thinking of life without you Lies fill my head instead of what is true The moment I decide to let go I was far far from home The moment our fingers no longer Touched the moment I was no longer stronger. How miss your soft touch You laugh oh how I miss much Yes the saddest thing I ever did Was the moment I let go and hid From your kindness and love yes And now I’m stuck in this mess,yes this mess.