After all these years -

what our hearts refuse to confess,

our eyes overtly reveal.

Casual conversations

riddled with affection,

trying hard to be platonic

when you and I know

what we have —is COSMIC.

ALWAYS have been,

but NEVER could BE —

at least in our current reality.

If either of us was braver

more than a decade ago,

Would we take the chance?

THAT NIGHT when we danced

and took shots of tequila…

You put your arm around my shoulder

and quickly whispered your TRUTH.

Dumbstruck, like a dream came true,

Inside I screamed: ME TOO!

But you nervously laughed

and changed the subject;

I should’ve responded, asked…

I guess we’ll never know.

Oh but we do…

In your sleepless nights,

do you go back in time too?

To that night —

Could have been ours…

Tell me.

Because I do.

After all these years…

I’ve moved on, but I always knew.

My soul recognizes you

From a thousand lifetimes.

And that my heart,

Will always,

     always,

     ALWAYS

belong to you.

x,

J. Balais

04/Nov/23

#lgbtq+ #confessions