Three days had passed since she crawled into that bed. Three days since he’d seen the vibrant light in her eyes.

Gray had been bringing food and water to Adie’s side table for the last day and a half when he realized she wasn’t planning to move anytime soon. She’d sipped from the cup and taken tiny bites of the now stale bread before rolling back over and either falling asleep or staring at the wall.

Worry was starting to gnaw a hole in his gut. He’d seen the waves of sadness overtake her gaze before and on multiple occasions, but he’d never seen her like this. It was as if she’d fallen into a hole and had given up trying to get out.

Sitting in a rickety chair across from her, he gazed at her figure balled up under the thin fabric. He could tell she had her knees up to her chest and knew she was still breathing by the soft rise of her shoulders. Shifting his weight farther back into the chair which made a loud creak, Adie began to stir. She stretched out and rolled onto her back before slowly turning her head towards him, eyes open and blank.

Gray shot to his feet and was across the space in an instant. He knelt on the tattered rug beside her bed and gently put his forearms on the bed, hesitant to reach out to touch her. Her hands were still under the blanket and he didn’t want to startle her by grazing her face, no matter how much he wanted to feel the soft skin under his finger tips.

Her citrine eyes found his and she blinked.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

Gray took in her features, which seemed sharper and dull all at once. The lack of food and quality sleep had taken its toll.

“Hey,” he responded and took a chance. He reached his out and light ran the back of his fingers down her cheek. He wasn’t sure how she would react, but he wasn’t prepared for the feelings that stirred in his heart as she slowly closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. Taking that as an invitation, he open his hand and placed his entire palm along the side of her face, thumb sweeping across her cheekbone.

“Will you tell me where you went?” He whispered.

Adie opened her eyes and he realized her bottom lip was quivering. She rolled to her side, but was still facing him. He could tell she had gathered the blanket and brought it up to her chin as high as it would go.

Gray started to stroke her mousy brown hair and his heart began to ache at the silence. He didn’t know what was going on with his emotions towards this woman. Even with their history, he wasn’t sure he could take another secret but he also didn’t want to push her. He wanted to respect her boundaries and allow her to talk to him as she needed to.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he said as he pulled his hand back, crossed his arms and placed his chin on the edge of the mattress. “But if and when you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen.”

Adie wiggled on the bed until a hand was free and rested it on his arm. Her hand was a cool weight on his skin. He tensed and his hand fisted in the fabric.

Meeting his gaze, Adie let out a long breath. “I want to tell you, but I need you to just listen and not try to fix me.”

Gray sat up at that and blurted, “I won’t try to fix you.”

“Everyone tries to fix me once they know the truth,” she said and he could her deflate even further.

Gray relaxed and realized she was offering up a small kernel of herself that no one had ever accepted before.

“You don’t need fixed as there is nothing wrong with you,” he said and placed his hand on top of hers.

Adie pulled herself into a sitting position and leaned against the wall. The thin blanket pooled in her lap, revealing her white undershirt with thin straps. Her shoulders hunched, but never moved her hand from under his. She looked towards the wall and took a deep inhale.

She began speaking.

“I have a curse of the mind.”

Gray stiffened. A curse of the mind? He’d heard of people who were plagued by different forms that affected their mental state. He listened to her as she continued.

“I’ve had the melancholy variant for the last ten years. It comes and it goes, and I haven’t had an episode this bad in a very long time. The last time was actually after I left you six years ago,” her eyes seemed distant and Gray was worried she’d burrow into the bed again. “It actually runs in my lineage. My great grandmother took her own life when my grandmother was a child. Usually when it hits me, it is for a short period of time and I am back to normal rather quickly. Other times, I have to make a conscious decision to keep moving forward in the day. On more rare occasions, I succumb to its draw and I’m usually bedridden for the gods know how long.

“Imagine all of the sadness you’ve ever felt in your lifetime sitting in your chest all at once. Some days I wish I could die and others, I wish I could just disappear. If I voiced the thoughts that sometimes flit through my mind…”

She trailed off as she shook her head. Gray had tightened his fingers around her hand and hadn’t even realized it. He stared at her beautiful face for probably a moment longer than he should have before clearing his throat and asked, “Is there a cure? Or some sort of enchantment out there to help?”

“Imagine a fuse being lit, a really long fuse but you aren’t quite sure when it’s going to entirely detonate. The thoughts are always there, but they gradually get stronger and darker but you never know when it’s going to hit. It’s extremely exhausting. I sometimes see a mind healer who casts a small spell to keep the thoughts at bay, but it doesn’t work every time and can sometimes affect my own magic. Think of it as…a negative reaction. Other than that, it’s sheer willpower for me to keep going.”

Adie turned towards Gray, tears welling in her eyes and her voice quivered as she said, “It is the worst feeling in the universe to feel this way, to feel as if there is no happiness left in your soul. When it feels like there is nothing worth living for or that everyone would be happier if you left, yourself included. Thinking there might be a better life out there for you if you turned your back on everything. There is nothing that feels as low as that.”

Gray’s chest tightened at seeing the tears run down her face and his curiosity got the best of him and he asked, “How did you come back this time?”

She tipped her head to the side and gave him a small smile, “Do you really want to know the answer to that? You might not know what to do with it,”

He smiled back at her and said, “Try me.”

Adie’s smile faded and her eyes became golden moons as she realized he called her bluff. He saw her determination set in, eyes now burning and leaned forward before whispering, “It was you, Gray. You were the one who pulled me back.”

Gray was shocked, but something in him was set ablaze and he pounced before he could stop himself. Jumping onto the bed, he wrapped his arms around her. He felt her stiffen for a moment, but then she seemed to melt. Her usually strong arms wrapped around his middle and she nuzzled her face into his neck.

Gray felt as if he was shaking when he realized it was actually Adie sobbing. Full-on chest sobs racked her body and she gripped the back of his shirt with both hands.

He tightened his arms just a little bit more around her, leaned his head down towards hers and quietly said, “Thank for telling me. I will keep it close to my heart. Whatever you need from me, just tell me. Just promise that you’ll come back to me somehow.”

Adie’s sobs subsided and she sniffled as she pulled back to look at him, whispering, “I’ll do my best.”

She leaned forward into Gray once more, but her grip on his clothing had lightened. He began to stroke her hair and they sat on the simple matter until the sun set.