It was you

Or at least it should have been

I’ve been floating in darkness everyday

And then I see you

Or I did

Now you’re gone

Not entirely but I feel you leaving

I try to connect with the world around me

To move on

But it’s been a year

And you’re still the thought of my future

My life, maybe even my heart

I guess what I’m saying is

I’ve changed

I’m not the shy, boring, terrible girl

I’m not pathetic

Not anymore

Yes I’m still in the darkness

But maybe for now that’s okay

I’d rather be alone in the dark

Then blinded by the white light I see you with

I still want you

I’m just not so sure you want me

And that’s okay

It’s better than okay

‘Cause I’m working

I’m trying and I’m finally getting somewhere

I wonder if you know what it’s like

To cry over someone

To wonder why nothing you ever did was enough

To wish that you didn’t have to keep going

Because you knew that nothing you did would ever change the way they saw you

But I’m telling you

With words

With truth

That I’m not the same

I’m ready to live

Ready to start life

I’ve been so held up on you

Wondering why the light wouldn’t come to the darkness

Why you ignored me

And still I keep trying to make you see

You’re strong, you’re probably perfect

Just like light

But one thing I know about light is

It breaks the darkness

Just like you broke me

Not with words

But with actions

You made me wonder what the future holds

But what future will I have if I’m stuck on you

You’re my life

You always will be

But people die

They escape life

Right?

I might want to know you

But that means nothing to me if you don’t want to know me

It might be selfish

I don’t know

But all I’m saying

Is I’m not the same

I want you to see me

I want you to realize

That I’m not who you think I am

I’m worth more than what you see

I’m worth everything I have

And I’ve never been so sad

To think that you’ll never see me again

Because . . .

You’re the light

And you’re blinded by it

You can’t see me

You can’t see black

And that’s okay

Because you’d be right

I’m not pretty

I’m not worth looking at

My face is a mess

I belong on the street

But

I want you to know

That in my world

Where darkness comes and never goes

You were the first sign of light

You had the power

And it was you

It was you

That made me realize

It’s okay to be in the dark

When the only light that’s shining

Is the light that blinded me from what I could have become