Everyone has their great strength in life. Mine is my composure. I don’t show emotions. I never have. This is why I’m such a great fighter. I don’t feel pain or grief. I can’t feel regret.

My strength was the core of my greatest weakness.

A long time ago, only about a year, I met a girl. She wasn’t just any girl. She was my girl. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wanted to grow old with her.

We dated for a couple months. She told me she loved me. I didn’t say it back. Trust me, I loved her with all of my heart. That strength I have, my composure, wouldn’t let me say it back.

I’ve worked so long to build and keep this shield. It’s gotten out of my control. I can’t turn it off or on. It’s just there, doing everything for me.

My girl left me, because I never said it back. The girl of my dreams was gone, and it was all my fault. I would never have that life I wanted to create. I would never have those moments when all you can do is smile.

When in my life did my greatest strength transform into my greatest weakness?