I think part of me thought we could push through any obstacle in our way. Love conquers all right? It sure did at 18 and it even mostly did at 22. 26 is different though. Love isn’t enough to help keep a clean house or to stop the fighting. Making up doesn’t feel the same anymore. I don’t remember the last time I looked in your eyes and actually saw you; the you at 18 where your eyes could make me forget what I’m upset about. Or the you at 20 that somehow could see into my soul.

Everyone tried to tell us it would never work. But baby it was you and me against the world. The world packs a punch though. Your tongue has gotten sharp and cold as you’ve aged. You’ve learned how to take the deepest, darkest parts of me and use them against me. But still I forgive, and forgive, and forgive. But it’s not enough anymore.

Lying awake wondering what did I do to deserve all of this. What fucking karma could I have possibly produced in my last life to be stuck on this never ending rise and repeat cycle we’ve been on the last decade. My love for you has made me weak. Holding my tongue while you remind me with your words how little you think of me.

Every stone you’ve tossed has given me enough to built a wall. A wall stronger than the one you broke down before. A wall I never plan on taking down for you again. Brick by brick, stone by stone I’m gathering my courage to leave. To save myself a lifetime of this because a decade is fucking plenty.

Deep inside, I think I knew all along that this was how it would end.