“I don’t know why. I just couldn’t help myself.” His reasoning for eating my chocolates.

“I don’t know why. I just couldn’t help myself.” My reasoning to the cops for killing my roommate.

Look, it’s simple. I buy it, it’s mine. Don’t touch and DEFINITELY don’t eat. Or else. It’s written in the contract!

They never listen. Yeah, ‘they.’ This isn’t the first time I’ve had to pay the dues for this unspeakable act. It’s just the first time I’ve been caught.