What is a crush? I have never had one, nor do I want one.

I don’t even have time for love. I’m to busy with school and not making it a living hell. School is somthing that will always take up my time. School and my friend Zach.

Why?

Zach has always been my friend since I was little. We went through the thick and thin. But as we got older, he started to get more popular and I didn’t. Zach is the star student. He has everything. The looks that with just one glance girls are all over him. He’s athletic and the football captain. Hell, he even has brains and friends for days.

He really is admirable. He has so many perople around him so why is he always hanging around me?

Why does he look the happiest with me?

Why does he smile the brightest when he sees me?

Why does he call me his best friend when we’re literally the opposite from each other?

Why does he keep being friends with me when he had many times to get rid of me?

Why do we always meet at the same dumb park right after his practice?

Why do we always sit under the same tree from when we were kids and act as we are the best friends ever?

Why am I so insecure of our friendship?

_Why_ is _he_ always staring at _me_?

“Stop it,” I snap.

“Stop what?” his eyes turning to little slits when he smiles. And his teeth shine under the sun. It’s beautiful.

_Why is it beautiful?! _

“It’s creepy that your watching me eat,” I lift the cookie I was munching on up to my mouth. I don’t entirely look at him, focusing on the cookie.

“_I am wacthing _because your eating the cookies _I made,_ I need to know if they’re good.” He crosses his arms and watches closely for my reaction. His eyes never leave my face.

They are good. But I don’t tell him that.

“They’re midiocore,” is what I end up saying.

He frowns.

“… is what I would say if you were my little brother. They taste pretty good. And not to surgery, just how I like sweets,”

The spark that lights up in his eye could brighten a whole room with how happy he looks. “Nice save Jacky,” he teases. I give him a smile.

“I made sure that there wasn’t much sugar. Since I remember that you apologized to my mom that you didn’t like the very _surgery_ cake she made you once.”

He remembers that?

Zach’s mom made me a cake once. It was full on chocolate. Just one bite and I could taste the cavities I was going to have. I was eight and I learned I could not eat sugary things without gaging.

“Did’t think you would remember that Zach,” I say looking up at him. He’s wearing a white T with forest green cursive writing on it saying _Y.O.L.O. _His blonde hair falling right in front of his pretty blue eyes. The wind making his hair flail around but somehow it’s doesn’t look like a total mess.

He smiles fondly reaching his eyes, “finally, you look at me,” he mumbles with relief. His fingers wrapping around his wrist carefully, caressing his arm.

I wrinkle my forehead. What does that mean? Should I ask?

“ Of course I remember that, I remember anything that has to do with you.”

How, _how_ does he say that with a straight face? I squash away what this feeling is. He always makes me feel this way

“Okay, well… can I keep the cookies?” I ask.

“Yeah, go for it. I’m going to play some music,” he slips out his phone from his pocket and presses a few buttons.

I take the cookies and zip up the bag. I pull up my backpack from the ground to my lap. With one swift move I open the big pokect and drop the bag in with some carfulness to not damage the home made goodies.

I only look up when the sound of a melody reaches my ears. What I see is Zach making himself comfortable to lay on the fresh grass. I follow too. I set my backpack next to me, looping my arm through one of the shoulder straps and lay down. I stare up at the colorful sky. It’s starting to get dark but still bright enough to go without a flash light. I hear some shuffling next to me and turn my head to the left.

Right before my eyes is Zach. He smiles big, and if his teeth could blind with how white they look I would be in the hospital. He looks perfect.

“Why are you always staring at me?” I ask. I think I could fall asleep here.

“Because you’re everything I could ask for,” I hear him mubble.

I pause. What did he just say?

“…what?”

“Because, you’re funny to look at,” he says louder. I’m 80% sure that was not what he first said.

“I’m funny to look at?” I don’t stare at him. I stare up.

“Yeah”

“What about you?”

“I’m not. I’m handsome, right?… right?”

“…maybe,” I yawn. I’m getting tired now. My eyes want to fall shut. My baby sister keeping me up in the middle of the night is not helping me right now.

“Wanna take a small nap? I’ll wake you up at six… forty five,” he glances at his watch to check the time.

“Let’s just stay here until I have to go home,” I end up saying. Zach stays quiet but doesn’t argue. I let my mind wander.

What did Zach mean?

I’m his ‘everything’?

What does that make me?

What does that make him?

What does that make _him_ to _me_?

I can feel a wave of fatigue wash over me after staring at the clouds for a long time. I turn my head to face him. Zach’s eyes are closed and I notice his eyelashes are quite long. I reach out to touch his hair-

“You heard me? Earlier?” My eyes widen when I realize he’s awake. He’s staring right at me.

He’s done it so many times but why do I feel so nervous under his gaze all of a sudden?

“Heard what?” I ask, glancing away.

“You really want me to repeat what I said?”

“And if i do?” I muster up the courage to look right at him.

He laughs, his smile brightening. He’s so beautiful.

“You’re my everything Jack,”

Well shit. I got butterflies in my stomach.