Trigger warning include…

!Mentions of suicide!

Laying in the bed beside my husband, I watch how his eyes stayed shut. I looked at how he had a smile on his face as he was in his slumber. If only I could carry the same smile when I was awake. It was hard being awake. I sometime envied the sleeping corpse that rested underground.

I got up from my bed. I placed a letter I prepared the day before. A kiss on my husbands forehead was light enough to not wake him.

I got a warm rob and the sleek sharp object in hand. I headed towards our backyard that caused to many problems when renovating. I loved this backyard, I wanted to preserve the green grass, while he wanted to replace it with a shiny pool.

There was about half a yard of grass and I laid on it with my back against its soft length facing the sky. The object projected straight in the middle of my chest cavity.

I dig it in.

Goodnight.