I wondered when it would happen for me

The endless array of clothes in closets

The sound of children’s laughter playing

A smile across a kitchen table

A key that opens the door to my own business

But it seems that these are things I am meant to hear about

Not experience

Witness but not enjoy

Each disappointment settles deeper in the growing darkness inside me

A darkness that thuds and echoes through my limbs

Draining my chances of happiness

When eyes meet across coffee shop counter

When a cat curls blissfully in the sun

When clear waves crash rhythmically against the shore

When an embrace from a friend warms the forgotten parts of my heart

So I try to remember that resentment

Only hurts me in the end

And let go.