if i had to choose to start all over again, and love her fully knowing i’ll never actually get a chance, i’d do it. i’d do it a million times, just again and again and again. loving her is the most beautiful experience of my life, honestly, it’s just THE experience of my life.

she’s amazing and so wonderful, and i hope she’ll meet someone equally as perfect as she is. she definitely will, too, because she’s a beautiful, striking rose with not a single thorn even in sight. love and happiness is the books for her, it’s just me that’s not.

i’m fine, though, i’ve accepted it. she’ll never be mine, even if i’ll always be hers. it’s okay. it’s life, it’s just how things work, and at the end of the day, it’s only my feelings. it’s not really anything important, except it is, except not really because deep down i knew she was never going to choose me. my feelings were well prepared. kind of.

i never told anyone how i felt about her. not a single soul knows, and i thought that it was just because i was afraid of her finding out. i’ve come to realize that, no, i just wanted this to myself. people don’t have to know anyways, and neither does she. she’ll never know, but i always will. i’ll always love her, and she’ll never love me back. that’s my curse, but i love it. i love her. that’s why i have to let her go.