Sometimes I wish I could ask you,

Why me?

Why did you choose me to trap and never set free.

At least I understood,

At least I understood that I never really meant anything.

But what I didn’t understand and what

I should have

Understood

Is that just because

You

Never

Gave me a meaning, it

Did not

Mean that I don’t have one.

You made me feel uncomfortable

In my own skin and the way you made me feel

In my mind

Where can I even begin?

I never felt so betrayed, and not even by you,

By myself

And that’s the part that made me feel so blue.

I didn’t understand

How my own body could repulse me so much or how

My own

Numb and silent mind could

Freeze

Under your touch.

You took everything from me you have taken

Me away from me

And I’ve been trying to figure out who I am

Ever since.

-

But one thing I am not is yours.

That you will never have over me.

And I will always know,

Despite how hard I try I will

Always

Remember what you did.

But I refuse to wear that label

I refuse

To wither under your actions and everything you stand for

I refuse, and I will be anything but something that you have destroyed.

Sometimes I wish I could ask you,

Why you?

Why did you choose to ruin your life, and to strengthen

Me.