“What do you want most out of your life?” The question everyone has been asked atleast once in their life is the question I ask ask myself everyday. I of course know the answer I should say “To be a God fearing father.” That’s what I want but when I look at my actions they do not reflect my answer. I am barely a man of God I try to be close to Him but do not allow myself to suspend my disbelief enough to get within earshot. I plan to join a Christian organization in college, but why am I doing this? It is for the simple reason that I have learned that Christian girls fit me more often than not. I have turned an attempt to get closer to God into a plot to get a girlfriend. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Is a very true and very powerful verse, however, no matter how often I hear it it means nothing to me. I have convinced myself that I alone can take on every challenge which is impossible without Christ but the realization of my nativity only flatters my ego. “I’ve gone this far by myself I can go further.” It doesn’t work and I refuse to see that it doesn’t. I’m in a tunnel and I can see the light at the end and but instead of walking to the obvious answer I instead stare and the wall and plug my ears. “A fool is a man who looks in the mirror and sees another man.” I am a fool. A confession is not a defense for yourself it is a statement of facts. I will work to get closer to Him but I have been “working” for years. I am a fool.