I can’t say I’m hurting when I seem to have the perfect life, a boyfriend, a best friend and well that’s pretty much it except the fact I’m hurting and sometimes I don’t know why I shouldn’t be I feel like I’m not in control of me I say and do things now and I just am not sure if that’s me doing that or if I’m just messed up like everyone else, yes I know no one is perfect that’s been proven as my mistakes of things and decisions haunt me. Two friends lost in a month I dare to even call them friends after the way they treated me or was it the fact they was jealous of me but for what reasons is it because I can always end up getting back up and deal with my problems on my own rather then dragging people through shit I don’t know but after the fights they started I began to hate them so I guess it is good that they are gone and I made the right decision to make sure to get rid of toxicity and disgusting behaviour from someone your supposed to trust and yes they know shit about me but I know stuff about them too and oh well cause I know at the very end of the day I never meant any of the fake apologies even though they started the fights and just said I was always in the wrong for hanging out with my boyfriend but who wants to hang out with a pair of toxic girls who just don’t make you feel like friends at all it was like a chore hanging out with them I never wanted to anymore it was boring and old and just I hated it. My life is odd people are often mad at me because I don’t please them anymore I use to be a people pleaser but this year I stopped caring and started focus on myself cause fuck everyone who tryed to control me we do not have forever so why are we getting mad and causing hopeless drama to fill in the bored ness I want to live I don’t want to be hidden I want everyone to know that I am the girl who overcame and does not need anyone to be happy not friends not nothing I am happy to do my own thing and I am glad I have my boyfriend but even he can be a handful most the time