because this is going to be as exciting as driving at one mile an hour she thought and that’s if she got to write anything in the first place and she felt as if she had been in denial and maybe all those unwritten pages were a blatant sign anyone else couldn’t possibly have missed anyone else would think ok this is not my path and try different things and maybe find their way but then if she was such a fool so blinkered so incapable of lateral thinking then why had she had that dream so long and cared so much and she didn't know and she felt tired and dissolved into an uneasy sleep