Moving On

My emotions are black,

Pure empty black,

All I can think is this is my fault.

Who else could be?

She was so mad

Angrier than a wet cat

Sadder than a grieving elephant

More worried than an overprotective mother

I deserved this

I deserve every single second of this overwhelming pain

Every moment she’s not here is because of me

Because I failed her

But I also know this wouldn’t be what she wanted

She would want me to move on

She would want me to honor her

Not grieve for her

She would tell me she’s in a better place now

She would tell me to man up

She would tell me to fix what’s been wronged

She would tell me that no one got anywhere by doing nothing

I know she would be mad to see me like this

I’m mad to see me like this

So I’m going to get up

I’m going to honor her memory

I’m going to let her leave