“We What?!”

“You just…” my friend trailed, “I mean you pee on it.” She tried to hide her smile behind the box, chuckling like a child.

“I wasted fifteen dollars on a test. When we both know I’m not-“ I stopped.

Was I?

“Georgia… you might be,” she smiles hard.

“Why the hell would I be?” I growl.

“Did the two of you fuck?”

“What?” I feel the blood drain from my face, suddenly I’m pale and cold. Him and I are friends. I’ve told her this.

Okay, fine. Maybe I kissed him. And maybe we were a little drunk. Maybe one thing led

to another. And maybe I woke up in his bed naked. But we didn’t do… that. No. There’s no way.

“You’ve been throwing up. You’ve been super hungry. You’ve been dizzy, nauseated…” she continues reading through the symptoms list on the back of the box as my vision blurs and I sink down on the closed toilet lid.

Flashbacks burn their way into my mind like strong whiskey. Him on me, me smiling up at him. The way he kissed me, his lips soft and warm on mine as he parted my thighs- I gasp and jerk back to now, loosening my grip from the sides of the cold toilet.

“Oh my god, we fucked,” I whisper.

My friend’s annoying voice stops reading symptoms. She smirks, places the box on the counter, pats my shoulder and leaves the room.

“We fucked?” I whisper, brow furrowed. I turn to look for my friend- then remember she already left the room.

I’m going crazy. I’m not ready for a baby. I can’t be. My body- no. No, no. There’s- haha, no! That’s not an option. No.

Not an option.


“I… I have to tell you something,” she says, running her finger along the coffee lid. She hasn’t taken a sip, although it’s her favorite.

“Yeah? Look- if this is about last time- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- and we- I… I mean it’s behind us. We’re just friends. Unless- but, I-“

“I’m pregnant,” she says, pale as a sheet.

“You’re what?” I laugh nervously.

She stands, slamming her coffee onto the table, it splashes up, droplets sprinkling over the table. “I’m fucking pregnant because you couldn’t keep your small ass dick in your pants. You got that? And I swear to God, if our baby’s nose is as big as yours…”

She storms from the shop. A smile spreads across my face. The customers sit, staring at me as my grin spreads from ear to ear. I slide a ten across the table, for the waitress. Then I stand and skip from the coffee shop.

“I’m going to be a dad,” I tell a random dude on the street. He chuckles, shaking my hand that isn’t holding the coffee.

“I’m going to be a father,” I tell a small kid licking a lollipop, holding his Mom’s hand, he grins nervously and grabs her dress. She smiles awkwardly.

“I’m going to be a daddy,” I whisper to an old woman holding a newspaper on the bus bench, she flattens out the paper and glances over at me, puzzled.

Haha, I’m going to be a dad. The happiest dad in the whole world.

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