I never thought I would say goodbye - we were Soulmates after all. Or at least that was the story I told myself for years. How could someone I love not love me the same? Was I even in love - was I just pretending; a fantasy I had created?

Six and half weeks since seeing or hearing from them. The entire time the only thing on my mind is are they okay? Are they thinking of me too? Should I apologize? Was I the wrong doer?

Thinking of them everyday but different than before - swapping from grabbing treats on the way home or brewing enough coffee for two. This was hard. Knowing they are doing the same, looking through photos and messages desperately looking for a sign to reach out. Waiting for the green dot to show up near the instagram handle instead of “Last active 41m” Replaying each conversation and action that followed over and over to be sure not to miss any detail that would confirm this was the right answer.

If this was right, if splitting meant better for both, if separatation was the best answer, if this was supposed to make us both happy…why does it feel miserable?