I need help

so I yell and I scream at them

until my lungs give up

and my heart gives out.

silently wishing, hoping

they’ll understand that

I’m not a terrible person.

I’m just hurting

I need help

so I carve the pain into my skin

pleading, begging, praying

for someone to notice the glaring welts

I need help

so I skip one meal

then three

make a chart for the weights

and the calories

waiting to reach the impossible goal

I need help

but I shake in my seat

suffocating in my own lungs

tumbling out of control

I grip my seat so tight my knuckles turn white

wait until

my breath hitches,

my breathing stops