halloween night so creepy, so dark the sound of a slicing knife could intensify the beat of your heart

what if your heart stopped beating and you didn’t know it yet? what if the wound was open a month before it ever bled?

halloween night you avoided the girl you put up a fight

she gave you a drink and a smirk or two and in two blinks she was all over you

halloween night so scary, so fun the sound of a slicing knife heads your way, but you can’t run

was it worth it?

leaving room for errors always seems wise, until there are mistakes sleeping on every sofa in your house. my mother always told me not to trust these guys but somehow i find myself keeping them around. to my soul it all just ties around my heart it pounds i am wounded but in a way at peace, in the lies that my body knows isn’t safe or sound if this is where i find myself, where am i found?

you called me late at night i was too tired to answer your mom called me the morning after you couldn’t fight it any longer i couldn’t move or face it the love you give, no one can replace it i’ll just go to your house kiss you in the hallway like none of this happened but i can’t do that. it did happen, and it was all becoming real.

i’m breaking as you break the glasses on the floor by my feet i’m shaking as you shake my mother’s ashes i’ve fallen to my knees it’s taken everything i’ve lived for to not take everything from you ill just lay in this bed, fear for the next morning with you

i wake up to the sound of rain on the ground i look all around you can’t be found

i get up from our bed the sheets a bloody mess i wonder did you get any rest i wonder if you left

i walk by the room where it happened last night i prepare for a fight but you look confused

you cleaned up the mess the broken pieces on the floor you even made breakfast i’ve never seen this before

i sit next to you at the bed but i start to fall asleep i wake to you wanting me dead i realize it was all a dream

every day repeats itself like a book on the shelf that i keep rereading

yearning for an answer to my undying desire the more i reach the more i end up bleeding

if i stain your hands red, would it make you want them instead? i don’t want to see you leaving

my bones are broken and sharp as i try to heal they only do harm why are you already grieving?

i bandage myself up i drink again from that cup through the forest i wander

you follow me there and because you still care, i tell you what i ponder

your face drops as i see your heart shatter i can’t breathe anymore, and my words just scatter. when does a man become a monster?

_ _****_I step outside after the rain, my bare feet sinking into the freshly watered ground. The purple smoke swirls silently, pulling me toward it with an eerie calm. Each step I take is a new hope, a new dawn. The closer I get, the more I believe in the promise this color holds. But as I reach it, I realize—it's just smoke. The hope was never real to begin with. _

as the water creeps up it almost takes me over i move my legs just enough to keep me going forward

i try to go fast enough not turning around to it it chases faster faster faster i swim swim swim

it take my limbs one at a time until i turn around it wasn’t just in my mind

i look the monster dead in the eyes it looks right at me, the more i run for my life the more it fights back

i have to stay calm as i see it i have to understand that i can’t be it the monster only fights if i swim away i can’t lose myself to the fear today.