It wasn’t supposed to be this way. He was supposed to come home. He was supposed to be there when I fell in love, when I married. He was supposed to become the king after Dad. My brother, Salipher, was supposed to be here.

He told us he was being stalked. That he needed protection. We all thought he was insane, we doubted him. Oh how wrong we were.

He was gone now, and there was nothing any of us could do. My big brother is gone, possibly dead, and I can’t even be there to tell him I loved him.

Salipher was kind, caring, and he’d do anything for me. I told him about Elias, and he was so…happy. He thought I just made a friend, I didn’t have time to explain that Elias was my lover.

I wish I had.

It’s been a year, Elias is on death row now, and I have nobody to help me. Nobody to comfort me. I can’t do this alone. I just…can’t.

I miss my Eli and my big brother. I miss them dearly.