Let me start off by saying there was no holy light I had no urge to go toward anything but had the urge to fight. And let me make clear I have never stated aloud that I want to die because I’m not sure if I really do or if I just want to have a good cry. There have been times where the only one I trusted was God and there have been times where I cursed Him and begged Him to **stop**. Both these times I realize I never _didn’t_ believe. Even when I burned the Bible and forced myself to bleed. And no matter how many times I cower to the words “God is dead” there is still the message I have from Him that’s been left on read. And though I find it morally wrong, morality has no place in this song. Us people, we need someone to cling to as much as we need someone to blame. And for both these things, God has the most heard name. So I guess what I’m really trying to say is God is nothing more than a mere puppet in a play. And I guess what I’m trying to prove is that I am not completely helpless and, without God, have less to lose. If He does ever decide to show His face, well, that would be the day. And since I’ve bled out all my spiritual hate, and felt all this pain, I think I deserve to be okay. Tell me once this is not the way and I will keep on walking, I _will not_ pray. _God__ be real, please._ _Find me the start, find me _ _the __peace__._ Without an end, instead we will have to call this a moment of ease.