(TW: sh)

This is a good thing

I am here

And I am happy

I am a

Good

Person

.

I shouldn’t hurt myself anymore

This is a _good_ thing

I am here

And I am… happy

I am a

Good

Person.

But before you can blink

It’s gone

And it was something

I am here now

And I am

I…

Am…

I held it again

I said I fucking wouldn’t

And I held the blade to my skin again

And today I cut over and over I had to force myself to stop

I know I can’t cut deep

Because then someone will know

And I’ll be put in a hospital

Because you’re not supposed to hurt yourself

I’m only a kid

I’m so scared

I’ve kept it together but I don’t know if I can do this anymore

I don’t know if I can bring myself to be friends with others anymore

Because apparently everyone who’s nice hates their life

And everyone else hates other people

So why am I the only one trying

Why am I the only one putting in

Effort?

Do they even want to be my friend?

Because I am trying my hardest and I am so helpless.

I am unsatisfied

Helpless

And stupid.

I am not ok

And I know I am not ok

But I can’t say I am not ok

Because then someone else will know I’m not ok

So I really will not be ok.