looking out my window

seeing the leaves change color

the ones that used to be green

are no longer

now they’re red

and yellow

brown

and orange

a lot of orange

and as the leaves change

so do I

so do my feelings

I can quite understand it

I can’t quite tell you what I feel

but I know it’s a bit different than before

maybe I’ll go back to feeling the way I did

like the leaves will fall

but then be revived in the spring

but for now

I’m a mucked up puddle

with orange leaves

that people have stepped on

trampled over

but you can still tell they’re orange

that’s me

I’m still me

even though I’m different

I feel different

I act differently

but like you can count on

the orange sun to rise and set

without failure, each day

you can count on me

to come back

stronger than ever

I just have to get through this

that’s what I keep telling myself, anyways

sometimes it’s real hopeless

sometimes I feel like that forgotten leaf

the one that fell and was trampled on

stepped on on stomped on

but maybe someone noticed

and picked it out of the muck

I just need someone to pick me out of the muck

out of the gross, slimy, mud

of what has become me life