i went up

to the counter

and ordered another

black coffee

i gave the young woman

a few bills

and got my coffee

and sat back down

at my laptop

the blank page

stared back at me

taunting me

that the woman

half my age

makes more than i do

by pouring black coffee

into a cup

but

that is my choice

because the page is

still blank

because

instead of making

the croissants

and the coffee

i will just order them

as a dopamine

rush

as a distraction

while

the page

stays as blank

as my bank account

and

that is what gets

turned around

that

the woman

probably looks at me

writing at ten in the morning

on a weekday

at the cafe

and envies

me

she probably envies

my freedom

and

the willingness

to follow dreams

that i am sure

she thinks

have come true

as

i sit with this

blank page

and

envy her ability

to swallow her ego

like i swallow

her coffee