“the brighter the white,

the darker the black”

(not with the theme, my cat passed this morning and this is in her honor)

there is nothing

in this life

as evil

as the death of pet

the are the only thing

in this world

that produce unconditional love

love,

that you can have to work

very hard to not receive

love,

that doesn’t judge how much fat

is on your body

that doesn’t ju...

the negative news

never surprises me

about the murders

of wives, mothers, children

about the suicides

of husbands, sons, elderly

about the postal

and their sprees

and their bombs

because i am capable

of the same split-second

self-stabbing as Elliot Smith

and the same split-second

hanging as Bourdain

and what is scary is not

how angry or depressed

i/we can get so quickly

it’s how quickly...

there have been many doors

opened to me

more doors than most

get opened to them

like four promotions

in a year

at my first ever job

then quitting

without notice

like having solo galleries

within six months

of making paintings

and then stopping

painting immediately

like being in a band

that was in talks

with the biggest labels

in the world

and leaving

before the band signed

like getting b...

“i don’t drink”

he said

and ordered a diet coke

“anymore?”

i asked

“ever”

he said

“my three brothers are dead from it

next to my father”

“i never understood

how one person

in a big family

can come out unscathed”

“some call it luck”

he said

“and it might be

but

my father didn’t know

any better

and my brothers

never let their resentment

towards go”

“and you did”

i asked

and ordered another be...

every summer

a group of us

would go to Wildwood

down the shore

full of teenage angst

and MD20/20

and we would practice

on the fake slot machines

and poker machines

honing our skills

for when we finally

were old enough to gamble

on more than tootsie rolls

and stuffed animals

and the first trip

on the mile long walk

to the fake casino

tommy got hit by

bird shit

two times

the next trip

tommy got ...

She wants to know his secret, but he hasn’t decided what it is yet. “Come on,” she said, staring at him, “everyone has a secret!”

“Maybe you should go first,” he stuttered, “you know, so I can think on it longer.”

“Fine, you goody two-shoes. When we were young, like real young, my sister and I would practice kissing on each other.” She recoiled back. “Oh god, is that bad?”

“I think that’s norma...

she picked me up at four am

to make our way down to gettysburg

it was her idea

to try to distract me

from losing the best fuck i’d ever had

my best fuck said i fucked too hard

and was too aggressive

she didn’t like facefucking

or facials

and doggy hurt too much

maybe she wasn’t my best fuck

i’d ever had

but she was the only fuck

i’d ever had

the only fuck i’d ever had

who i wanted to fuck

...

she went to the edge of the dock

at lake champlain

i stayed back

about fifty feet away

and

watched as the wind

blew her blonde hair,

dirty blonde,

into her face

and she put her hood up

from her grey sweatshirt

and i watched her grey sweatshirt

wrinkle back and forth

back and forth

and she stared out at the water

and the wind picked up

more and more

more ...

the easiest way to get away with murder

is to tell someone

that they are gross

and

disgusting...

“i need to confess something.. i did it.

now, can you pass the wine?”

i passed it back to him

and

lit a cigarette

“i figured” i told him

“so just tell me the reason

that you did.”

“it happened so fast…”

“this isn’t a movie.”

“sorry. i know there is

no excuse,

but my innocence was lost

at such a young age

and

I hold that dear.”

“so you took

someone else’s?”

“I think it’s to try

to reclaim...