“It’s hard to be inconspicuous when you’re hanging upside down.” Johnny said and we all let out a hearty laugh. He took a swig of his beer, then continued. “It was the first time I ever got caught, man! Can you believe that shit?”

“Luck always runs out!” Tom said and laughed at himself. I opened another beer.

“Yeah, but like this? My pants catching on the gutter? I have jumped out of so many win...

i went up

to the counter

and ordered another

black coffee

i gave the young woman

a few bills

and got my coffee

and sat back down

at my laptop

the blank page

stared back at me

taunting me

that the woman

half my age

makes more than i do

by pouring black coffee

into a cup

but

that is my choice

because the page is

still blank

because

instead of making

the croissants

and the coffee

i will just orde...

the wife

cheats on you

the friend

drunkenly spills your secrets

the babysitter

molests your child

the publisher

tells you no

the boss

lays you off

the boss

hires somebody else

the government

continues to steal from you

the beggar

does, too

and

you go through life

fighting through betrayal

fighting through

trust and hope

and the overwritten

fear and loathing

but you fight

through

because...

the divorce

sent me back to my parents

house

and they never

changed my room

and as i sat on my bed

and viewed the posters

i had put up

when i was fourteen

i saw how far i have come

and how far i have fallen

and how in-between

and the pans

in the kitchen

were the same

and the furniture

was the same

but

i was no longer the same

i left this house

a healthy, en...

there was a distance

once our careers took more

of each of our time

too tired to want

to have dates

too tired to want

to want to have sex

too tired to want

to talk about our work

and that is all we had

to talk about

if we didn’t tell each other

about our days

what was left to say

and she started sleeping

as soon as she came home

and i started staying out

and avoiding home

on my off days

...

whenever i visited my family

in florida

amelia island

i had a habit

that my father taught me

to look on the beach

in early mornings

via sunlight

and late nights

via flashlight

for sharks teeth

we would take

whatever we found

and add it to a jar

that my late grandmother

started

and

one night

on

amelia island

after two sharks teeth

my flashlight saw footprints

heading into the ocean

deep at firs...

“you like Woody Allen?”

he asked me

love him

i said

“do you know what he did?!”

yes

“how could you like

that monster?”

he makes good movies

“that is awful.

do you listen to Kanye?”

yes

“Michael Jackson?”

king of pop

“so you only like

criminals and predators.”

i like artists

i said

and ordered another beer

so you do not

separate the artist

from the art

“no.”

he said

“why should they ...

one tab

two more tabs

an hour later

a fourth tab

an hour after that

and

i sat in the bathroom

back against the tub

watching the shadows

from the soap

and the shampoo

and the plunger

come off their objects

and dance around

dance toward me

forming shapes

like hieroglyphics

trying to tell me a message

in a bottle lost at sea

and

i got scared

and ran out of the bathroom

and i tried to sober up

by ...

most of the paintings

that i find myself

doing

are what they call -abstract-

and i take whatever

color (s) i am

feeling and i pour the paint

in my hands on my arms

and throw it against the canvas

sometimes delicate and slow

for •yellow and from a height

l i k e r a i n for blue

but

the color i throwthefastest

is...

i wish i could be death

he told me

and every day

i could pick who dies

and the decisions

would be easy

the bitch that cheated on me

day one

the guy she did it with

day two

the kid who called me a queer

in middle school

day three

the jerk-off who cut me off

this morning

day four

he continued on and on

while i drank on and on

and he finally got to

day forty-four

and asked me

who would you kill

an...