Is it meant to be so hard? Life, sometimes I wonder why life’s a thing. Is it something the universe made to embarrass us? Make us mess up? Or is it just there?

I overthink things. And life is on that list.

Right next to friendships, talking and my most favorite love.

All things I don’t have. No friendships, I can barely talk, and love. . . I don’t think my definition of love is right. I think of love as hugs, the type of thing that just feels right, inside of your heart.

But that can’t be it because I don’t have it. I have hugs, but not enough. And maybe I have what I need to feel loved but I don’t see it.

I want to be told I’m beautiful, but I want it to be genuine. And I don’t want my outside to be beautiful because I know that can’t happen, but my inside.

People never take the time to look at insdies. They see the outside and move on. I do that too, but I wish it was different. If it was would we have friends we cared deeply for faster?

It took three years before Rin even noticed me. I never changed, he never changed. We just never talked. We saw each other in the halls, but we never saw each others insides until that night . . . That perfect night.