I am Queen of Hyperbole No one exaggerates like me I am the best at overstating I’ll spend days elaborating I do not know of good or bad Only magnificently glad Or deplorably abysmal I only pour, I never drizzle When it’s nighttime I’ve gone blind But I’ll melt when the sun shines In winter I have turned to ice Each itch feels like a million lice I am not angry, I am seething One small cough and I’ve stopped breathing I’m either the most gorgeous thing Or so grotesque it’s disgusting If I’m ill I must be dying But when well I feel like flying You looked at me, now we’re in love You hate me since you gave a shrug I’ve never thought rationally You’ll find me sobbing constantly For I’m Queen of Hyperbole No one exaggerates like me