“Alright,” I thought, “time to pick Farmer kit, with those amazing diamond pants that you cannot get at the middle island.”

“Wait, no—no, no…. bruh.” The game had already started, and I was using Enderman.

“Seriously? Enderman? I have literally one pearl which I can only use after 30 seconds. Bruh.”

I attempted to leave my spawn island, but my enemy was a camper—he sat on his island with a bow, and attempted to hit me off. I luckily survived, the arrow glancing off my helm.

“CAMPER!” I shouted across the void.

“MAD CUZ BAD” he shouted back.

“No…” I said, “death approaches!”

And thus I used my pearl to teleport to his island, killing him easily. However, he also had no pants.

“I am so mad.” I said aloud, monologuing as usual.

I left his island, and went to mid, a giant tree adorning the narrow island, with a cave at the centre. There were several warriors there already. I noticed two who seemed fatigued, and jumped into their fray, killing one from behind with my longsword, and used his body as a shield as I forced the other one into the void itself. I turned around, only to see a tall figure behind me, wearing full diamond plate and wielding a magical Zweihander. He attempted to cleave me from behind, but I rolled to the side as his massive sword, now aflame, struck the earth, leaving a scorched mark as it singed my hair. I skirted around him, using my sword to parry his, and managed to get behind him. I hacked at his legs, but it didn’t do much more than to anger the man. I ran. I was faster as I dashed through the cave, but he was right behind me. He grunted in frustration as he tried to keep pace.

I was right, he didn’t have a bow. I kept my distance as I turned around, and shot him in the face with my bow. I then decapitated him, but not before he was able to do severe damage to my legs. I couldn’t run.

The archer across the map knew that too.

I would have won, but I forgot my pants.