the girlfriend

dear diary

as i was sitting across from who i thought was the love of my life. i see his gaze towards me change. he didn’t love me anymore. he used to love my loud obnoxious laugh but now he covers his ears, whispers shut up and rolls his eyes.

as i’m sat with my chipped black nail varnish and red printed dress. i look to the floor. i can feel it coming.

“we need to break up.” he says looking at the floor. anger floods over me. i throw my diet coke at his face

“at least if you are going to say it, look me in the eyes you asshole!” i scream at him as the chair hits the ground as i run out.

maybe my anxiety is right, i really am an embarrassment.

her boyfriend

diary entry #124

i finally did it. she looked so ashamed, so embarrassed. as the chair hit the ground i cursed at myself.

everyone’s eyes on me. god i look like such an asshole and everyone in this room knows it.

see, my therapist said i should stop leading her on. i hadn’t loved her in 6 whole months. which is truly terrible. it started off as little things like how she picked her nail polish. then it turned into me hating how she was everything i wasn’t.

extroverted. confident. funny. stood up for herself.

god, have i done the wrong thing.

her parents

Dear our Memoir

she hasn’t stopped crying in days, her hair is matted. she’s lost weight too.

she believes it’s because she’s ugly. to us she’s the most gorgeous thing we’ve ever made. our only and oldest baby. so wild and free.

now she’s broken.

we left her favourite food outside her door. shepard’s pie, with a funny note just to see her laugh one more time. the loud laugh that could be heard from across the room.

how i wish i could hear that laugh one more time.