Brave

People have called me this before

But I’m not

I fight with my gut

like a dog on a leash

I say that I’ll jump

but then wait till next week

I only leap

when I’m too tired to fight

I chase the moon

only when it’s already night

I stick to safety

like gum on a shoe

I live to think

but then never can do

I’ll step off a cliff

but only when pushed

When faced with real risk

my spine turns to mush

But you moved across country!

Yes but

Only because my house

wasn’t my home

But you came out of the closet!

Yes but

Only because it’s death

being alone

To really be be brave I’d have to

Choose, to try

To trust myself enough

To kiss the familiar goodbye

So yes I’ve made bold moves but

I fought them hard first

Because my heart sees the good but

My mind fears the worst

I don’t take leaps without a tired inner voice

So don’t get it twisted

I’m not brave

I do jump

But only

When I have no other choice