‘Today doesn’t feel like the right time, but since it’ll never end, I’m going there to do it all over again, so that, maybe in one day, we’ll have enough money to pay. With all that I’m doing, I can stay calm for a moment and know that it’ll all be alright, but most of all, worth it.

It’s time for a short break, all my students deserve it. There isn’t much, but a meal is always there. I know what a bright future they’ve got ahead, they are all hard workers. Nothing tastes more bitter than their innocence, always saving some of their goods for me. They say I need it, for my family. And that I must be feeling hungry, after all, it has been a long day. They don’t have how to guess. This is not a common feeling, not in my body. I got used to it, sometimes, if I think twice, hunger gets lost. ‘

‘I, I don’t know what to say…being on the front line is definitely not the way things should be. Not now, not for me and especially not for my family. I cannot even think about it. ‘

…

‘It has been a while, I did not know that ordinary words have such power. I’ve changed my mind.

I’m leaving right away. It can’t be worse than now, can it?’

‘One-two-three. For-five-six. Seven-eight…aah, what is this? Some kind of joke, game, what?’

‘I’ve fallen, avoiding death with all the struggle. What was in my head?! I want to go back home, apologise and wake up tired, but with the knowledge that it’ll be alright.’

…

‘It’s almost night time. I’ve got shot in the shoulder, how perfect, right?! More and more people are saying goodbye. Who will be the one to go all the way to their towns, to pass the loss to their loved ones? Only one month, we’re all so lucky!’

…

‘It’s time, time to…fight, to kill and die. I’m scared, I’m afraid, I’m a loser, I’ve been hiding from the fight, with my friend. He is what I’ll never be. He makes my life worth living, or is that so?

He used to be….now he’s gone. One shot, two shots, that all it takes to make your way to hell.

What am I even talking about, this is hell. If there is a place even worse than this hell we’re going for, we must’ve all borned to be miserable.’

‘I hate myself for all these lies, please, when I’ll get back home, please forgive me for all I haven’t told. Letters have no sense now, I can’t put my heart in them. Please, forgive me for my dishonesty. The truth is that…I want my journey to end here. How can I return after telling you for one entire year how I’m fine, who am I to do that?! I won’t die, but I won’t get out of here the same either.”

…

“It’s time to hide. Keep it all a secret. They are haunting me in my nightmares, they know how I am their nightmare. How many have I pushed, how many times have I pulled the trigger? Without even thinking…that’s what I’ve been told to do. It’s me, my parents, my sister, my town, my people or them, their parents, their brothers and sisters, their people and land. It’s not a choice, we’re all addicted to this…I don’t want to say.

I am alone, just me and their blood on my face.’

….

‘Today. Now. War. Is. Over. We all want it, we all need it, we have begged it to run away for good.’

‘I left a home in ruins, I used it as a shelter for the night. Me and my brave friend, a very brave man.

Now we are free. We can eat whatever we want, we can run free, this is the time for us to set ourselves free.’

‘He wanted to know the reason for this silence. It’s all in silence, not only in our heads, but in these lands! It’s the end of fear, the end of death.’

‘He told me yesterday, we are the unlucky ones, not the lost ones. At least they have found peace. But here we are now, searching for something to eat. And no fire shots , peace runs free through us all, friends. Finally.’

‘Why is this silence so heavy?’

‘How am I still alive?’

‘Why? Tell me, why?’

…

‘He, he is…unconscious. His heart keeps beating, it must be this way……not again, not another one. This one will reach the end, dear friend, you’ll see it all end, stay awake!

Brave soldier, finish a less brave race!’

…

‘How cold can they be, telling me I did it for nothing. He has died hours before I could even get to……’

‘Noo, no, no’

‘What were his last words?

I remember. I will continue my way, I won’t get home in denial.

That’s not possible, what was he saying ?!

….there is a way…….actually……’

….

‘The greatest asked us to getter. ‘

‘Another useless speech about us not being the true heroes.’

‘Other wasted seconds of peace.’

‘Shall we end this, reach the history?’

‘Just a small claim, nothing can hurt, I don’t even know the meaning of this word.’

‘Can someone explain?’

…

‘One step ahead, two steps closer to my grave.’

‘Two hands made of pain, two hands meant for pain.’

‘Three colours, that’s the main goal.”

‘I’m only three colours away from their pain. Can you tell me what time is it now?’

‘How many seconds from eternal peace are we away?’

I marched in the dust, nothing have remained. And still I am destroying this one last shade.

An enemy on the right. That’s it. He’s it. Just a player in their game. Does he really want to die? I haven’t asked him, what is he to me? He’s the step away from my family. De terminating someone to lose makes me pay the cost of living.

‘I’m only one step away from heading to……..but for what? Peace is not peace. Not now. This was never the right time. The only peace is eternal.

Right now, this is all that matters. Peace be still.

I’m here, for you, dear friend. ‘

How happy I am, not fearing the game. Let the enemy know. It’s or him or me. His family or mine. His lands or hell. Let him get away, he has come to this level of madness, he’ll soon die with his own happiness. And so I will.

…..

War has ended and so has he.