Today was the day. Zoïe was finally going to tell her crush how she felt. She thought to herself, it shouldn’t be too bad. I mean, she would definitely get rejected, but at least she wouldn’t be keeping a detrimental secret from her new friend. Why would she get rejected, you may be asking? Well there was one simple answer.

Zoïe’s crush was a girl. And she was definitely straight.

Sydney Hollister was one of those girls who everyone liked. The girls were jealous of her, the boys wanted to be with her, and everyone watched her every move. She was a model, a victim of nepotism, planted by her parents, who were both in the fashion industry and wanted to push their daughter as well for even more money. She started modeling before her first birthday. You would think that Sydney was a spoiled, obnoxious brat. And even though she was definitely spoiled, she was always quite humble about her childhood rise to fame and never really wanted to discuss it. In reality, she was a sweet and bubbly girl who just wanted to have a somewhat normal life.

Zoïe grew up less fortunate, though, and, at first, she treated Sydney different because of it. She assumed that Sydney would look down on her if they ever had a real conversation. It seemed like Zoïe was simply jealous and took this out on a girl that she knew nothing about. Sydney wanted to be friends with everyone, but when it came to Zoïe, it was a bit harder to do this. However, she never gave up because she understood that maybe Zoïe just thought she was ignorant, which was fair, to Sydney. Over time, Zoïe opened up to her. Sydney may not have fully understood these situations, but she was willing to learn. The two girls became good friends, only in the privacy of one of their rooms.

The only thing that bothered Zoïe was that Sydney was eager to hear and learn about Zoïe’s life but Sydney never opened up about hers. If Zoïe ever asked, Sydney would change the subject, pivoting the conversation back towards Zoïe or switching topics to happens at school and whatnot. This went on for a while until one day, Sydney finally broke.

Her boyfriend, Zack, had broken up with her. Zoïe knew that Sydney might want to talk to a female friend, even if she knew nothing about dating, _especially _with men. Honestly, she genuinely thought that maybe if she confessed her feelings for Sydney, she could at least get her thoughts out and it would still go well, even if she got rejected. So, she went up to Sydney’s room and, surprisingly, was given permission to come in. When Zoïe opened the door, she saw that Sydney had been crying.

Mascara running down her face. Her eyes bloodshot red. Sydney was going through it alright. When she looked up at Zoïe’s concerned face opening her bedroom door from the other side, she started full-on sobbing.

Zoïe held Sydney as she sobbed and ranted about the breakup. But she not only talked about her ex, she also opened up about her childhood for the first time with someone other than Zack, and Sydney told her this. For Zoïe, this was a big deal because, to her, it meant that she was in the same league as Sydney’s ex-boyfriend, so she may have cared for Zoïe more than she thought. This opened up a chance for Zoïe to confess, still mostly convinced that she would not get the response she hoped for, but she also had a little bit more hope about the outcome.

“So… this might be a shitty time, but I have to get something off of my chest.”

There was a bit of silence, then Sydney responded. “Okay. You can tell me.”

More silence. “Alright… um, so… over these past couple of months, we’ve gotten really close, right?”

“Yes, we have! I love talking with you!”

“Me too,” Zoïe said. “I like our interactions a lot…”

Even more silence. Her heart was beating out of her chest at 90 miles an hour. She thought and stressed for a little bit about what she could say next.

Zoïe continued. “I think… I think that you are incredible. Not just to talk to, but also to be with. I… really care about you, Sydney..”

Sydney replied, “I care about you too!”

“No… not like that. I think that I’ve… developed feelings for you.”

The conversation paused. Sydney’s eyes broke contact and started wondering around the room. Her face started to flush red. Zoïe noticed that she seemed panicked. She started to realize that maybe she should have waited until a later day, but she didn’t want her and Zack to get back together because that would ruin her chances.

After about 15 seconds, Sydney decided to speak. “I… I don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry. But… thank you for telling me.”

Zoïe’s heart sank. She knew that she would be rejected, but hearing her say those words out loud really hurt. She responded. “That’s okay. I honestly didn’t expect you to feel the same way. I just needed to get this off of my chest, you know?”

She just kept rambling, trying to shut off the voices in her head telling her that she would never find love with another girl. “And I get that this was a _horrible _time to tell you, like, talk about absolutely _terrible _timing, am I right? Like, I know that you are straight but if I was a boy, you probably would have _still _rejected me because, like, your boyfriend _just _broke up with you. I mean, what a douche, right? Not that you can’t get back together with him or anything. Anyways, sorry, I just needed to blurt it out because every time we talk, I get butterflies and my face feels hot, so I thought that if I told you about my feelings towards you, I would at least get some closure, you know?”

Sydney’s face was red with embarrassment and shame. “I think you need to leave.”

These simple, yet painful words made Zoïe feel like her heart had dropped to her stomach.

Ashamed of her behavior, Zoïe decided to add some fuel to the fire. “Okay… and I’ll stop coming over. And you’ll stop seeing me at my house too.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Zoïe’s heart shattered. Did Sydney really mean that separating would be a “good idea”? Technically, Zoïe came up with it, but she didn’t expect Sydney to respond that way.

Zoïe shut the door to Sydney’s room on the way out, fighting back tears. She wasn’t worried about her confession anymore, she was going to miss her friend. She thought she could hear Sydney start sobbing into her pillow once she shut the door, but maybe she was hearing things. She left the Hollister mansion for the last time in a while, trying to be happy to never see Sydney’s parents again. She failed.

Still, Zoïe couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to their relationship. She knew that they had a spark about them that maybe Sydney just couldn’t see.

Or maybe it was just delusion.