She’s doing it again.

That thing where she keeps talking about herself in this whole “whoa is me” type tone.

It’s annoying.

I thought she said she didn’t want to be know for her past, yet here she is constantly showing me songs she wrote when she was a child, to music videos she released 5 years ago.

It’s cool, sure.

But it’s also super lame, and nothing I would have been remotely interested in if we ran in similar circles.

I made the mistake of mentioning I was a former musician myself.

I wonder if this is how people feel when on a first date with me?

I made the conscious decision to NOT mention my musical past to new people in my life.

It can be a lot for someone to digest within the first hour of meeting someone.

Plus, it just doesn’t play a major role in my life anymore.

Maybe she thinks that my past is something that I’m running from, that by her telling me all of the “great” things she’s done will somehow rekindle something within my creative being. Yet what she may not know is that I am a fucking adult, and I made this decision years before this terrible first date. Plus she’s just not that special. Despite her millions of views on YouTube or her thousands of Instagram followers. It’s all bullshit anyways.

Why am I such a nice guy?

Here I am like a chump, just nodding, “oooo-ing” and “ahhhh-ing”. None of this interests me. At this point I would rather NOT get laid, as that may require more punishment of listening to further “accomplishments”.

I need a game plan. A way out. Think god dammit, think. I don’t own a pet. A great excuse to leave a social situation prematurely. Reminder to myself to consider the purchase of a dog. But then I would lose the many freedoms I have grown fond of. Fuck.

I do have my own business that I constantly use as an excuse to seem busier than I actually am. That’s it!

“I would love to stay longer and listen to another one of your live albums, but I just realized, that I gotta be up early tomorrow to meet with a client about a project they want finished in the next few days”

She leans over, kisses me and says “That’s fine. I can think of a few ways to make sure you’re up early tomorrow morning”.

Fuck.