I’m on the path to a new diagnosis.

It’s bad to say but I hope I get it.

It wouldn’t change anything,

I just want an explanation,

A new path of treatment.

I’m glad to be better,

But I’m not one hundred percent.

It’s crazy to me that some people go through life not feeling that.

Am I getting crazier again?

Some things are better left unsaid.

I’m so OCD that I might have OCD.

I’ll wait to here what the doctor says.

I’m anxious all the time.

I don’t even want to talk about time.

I’m always anxious about time,

All the time,

In a loop.

Idle time doesn’t bode well for an active mind.

At least not mine,

But my mind doesn’t bode well in general.

That’s why I can’t be alone.

I need someone there,

Real or fictional,

That I can feel.

I can’t just draw or listen to music.

I can’t just write and stare at a screen.

I need somebody to be there with me.

I hate being alone.

But I worry that my friends are growing tired.

Tired of me wanting their company

And asking incessantly.

Is it too much?

Should I ask,

Should I stop?

At least there’s someone I know,

Who wants my company,

Who asks back for me.

Do they really mean it when they say “Yes,”

Or have I just forced them into this?