I was nervous, but the good type of nervous. The way you feel before you do something special. I had prepared all I could and now it was time to roll the fuckin dice. I straightened my bow tie and approached the podium. I gripped the microphone and prepared to shock the world. “Yo what up, as most of you know I’m Tyler’s dad.” So far so good. “Not gonna lie I’m buzzin pretty hard so bare with me here…ohhhh maaan I am fuckin drunk. Yo some of you chicks have crazy big tits, fuck it, I said it.” Fuck it I was going off-script, the crowd was feeling me. “Yo so what’s up with Phil being starting quarterback over Tyler??? Coach….fuckin johnson is a fuckin reeeeeetard, Phil throws like a faggot, fuck you phil, your dads a fuckin nerd too…..hey, hey…..hay, is it just me or is Kelsey a huge bitch? Seriously tho, Tyler had her over and she was like…..rude, guess what KELS! Tyler fucked Jenny….booooom suck on that. Fuck I am gonna regret this real bad, sorry Ty, daddys off the wagon…mighta done some bumps, who knows!? Thanks for the blow Kyle! This is fuckin crazy…..yo who took that shit in the bathroom? What are you even eating dude?! Fuck man if I was like 30 years younger I’d be gettin laid tonight so hard. Yo fuck this, I’m out! Sorry Ty you gotta walk home, there’s beer in the garage, FUCKIN PROM!