“It hurts,everything Fucking hurts.” I said tears welling in my eyes. “Darling, stop being dramatic, you are fine!” My mother scoffed. She walked out the door to continue getting ready. I pryed myself out of bed, it hurting even to stand. I made my way to the kitchen, Slowly but surely. “ Mom I really think I should see a doctor.” I practically begged. “How many times do I have to say this, You are fine!” She yelled “ But if you insist I can call Dr.Dalia.” I sighed in relief at her statement. “ Thank you mom!” I stood up from the stool in the kitchen and promptly collapsed onto the floor, The next thing I remember I was still there, alone.

“Mom? Dad? Anyone?” I called, It was dark out, I was alone on the kitchen floor and no one was home. Maybe this is all a dream, I thiught yo myself. So I pinched my wrist 3 times, quickly regretting it as pain surged through my arm. I felt dizzy and my limbs felt like lead but I managed to force myself up. I grabbed the landline and called

911, Holding my breath and waiting for an answer. The line disconnected, my moms harsh words rang in my ears “ You are fine!” and “Stop being so dramatic.” I trugged into my room and fell on my bed, I picked up my phone and saw the time. “Midnight!” I exclaimed. More thoughts started to rush in, Why would they leave me here? Why would they leave me alone? Did I pass out? Where even are they? I remembered the breathing excercizes my therapist tought me and I began to breath, In, out, in, out.

Figuring I would be alone for a while I jumped in the shower, the warm water hitting my face, and body, A harsh reminder of my pain. I cant stand it anymore, I turn the water off and wrap a towel around myself, snd head to bed, Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. I tossed at turned for hours, fighting sleep. I needed rest bug I couldn’t stop thinking, about life, about health, about anything and everything really.

I was awoken with screams, Not scared screams, But angry screams, Directed at ME. My mother was screaming asking “ Why are you still in bed at 10 and why is the house a mess and why?” I just tuned her out after that. I forced myself out of bed once again to continue the same old thing as always. “ I called the doctor, she said your fine.” My mom muttered. It hurt that not even a doctor could believe me. She then raised her voice and asked why I called 911 yesterday evening. I stuttered and stumbled trying to explain. But she didnt want to hear it and slapped me, Hard across the face, before walking away.

I crept into the bathroom tears streaming down my face, More pain, more pain surging through me, and anger, and disbelief, and disgust, I coudlnt even describe it if you asked me too. I just cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I cried until my eyes head and chest hurt. I cried silently. But it was the loudest silence I ever heard.