I read the makeup directions after applying. “Use applicator on skin and wait 5 minutes until sizzling.” SIZZLING!?! Perhaps, I thought, this jar was expired or I had put it on wrong somehow. But as I watch the bubbling drips of what used to be my skin splotch onto the bathroom tile I understand from the label that this was the intended effect. In hindsight it was indescribably foolish for me to rub the concoction in my eyes as well. Perhaps I’m staying up too late and not getting enough sleep, I keep making mistakes.

I didn’t even need to wear makeup today, I’ve got nothing going on! Halloween is a kid’s holiday for little babies. Besides its pouring rain outside.

I take another look in the bathroom mirror. For a few months now I’ve felt like my life has had no purpose. Now, staring into the mirror, what I need to do is clear: I have to return this makeup and get my money back.