Until August, I had never seen anyone so gorgeous, and he is mine and mine only. Amber eyes pure honey, warm heart pure gold. His Prince Charming smile is a blessing to all those who are lucky enough to catch it—before it fades away, that is.

Every year, someone is randomly selected from each household by the government because the amount of people being born exceeds the number of people dying. Ten billion might be our planet’s limit, they say. We don’t have enough resources to sustain that much life.

It’s bullshit, honestly. Such a bullshit excuse put out by the bullshit government to let the world know that they still hold power over us—that they still control us.

And in one week exactly, my best friend’s brother, the love of my life, August Fisher is going to die.

I have learned from experience (years upon years of my family members being picked off like grapes on a vine) that it’s much better to pretend it’s not happening and value your time before it’s gone.

So I’ve decided not to bring it up to August, nor has he brought it up to me. As far as he’s concerned, I don’t have a clue who’s being picked from his family. Probably because we’re not supposed to talk about it.

But, naturally being best friends, May and I told each other. She told me about August, and I told her about Germaine—my emotional cousin who is probably crying about his fate over a cup of Starbucks with his wife right about now. Sure, I’m sad about Germaine, but we’re not particularly close, so I’m not as torn up about it as I was the years my mom and dad were picked.

Until August, I hadn’t opened up to anyone but May about anything—about everything. My parent’s executions broke me and built walls around the shattered pieces of my heart so no one could get in.

Until August, no one had penetrated those walls.

In one week my castle will crumble once more.

Because I knew he was going to die.

And I chose him anyway.

•^+*

“Baby, what’s wrong?” August whispers, stroking a hair gone loose from my messy braid. We’re in his room, laying on his bed—fully clothed, of course. I’m still a lady.

I sigh, a shuddering, broken sigh, and collapse into him. “You…”

“What is it?” He asks, picking up my chin and forcing it towards him. His eyes are full of sorrow and pain—for me and him both, I suspect.

I don’t say anything, instead burrowing my head into his chest. The breaths I take are hot and painful, scorching my throat and lungs like a reminder of the pain I’m going through.

In one day—

“Willow,” he persists, kissing my head, just the way I like. “Please.”

I sigh, giving in. “Tomorrow… tomorrow…” I can’t finish the sentence. I don’t even know what I’m about to say.

But August does. “I’m starting to think you know more about me than you let on.” His face darkens, a storm cloud passing over his bright features.

I sit up, grinning a bit to lighten the mood and tension. “Have you not considered that I do indeed know everything about you? I’m best friends with your little sister.”

His brows furrow in confusion and delight. “You and May talk about me?”

I suppress a laugh. “You’re basically all we talk about. May likes to discuss our relationship quite a lot, and she likes to tell me what our child’s names are going to be and what our wedding’s going to be like—“

I suddenly stop. I’m so insensitive. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, August—“

I look at him to find a single tear sliding down his tan cheek. “I thought about it too, Willow. I thought about it a lot.”

My heart has been covered by a blanket. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he whispers, pulling a box out of his pocket. A ring box. “So much, baby.”

Thump thump thump thump thump. The sounds are coming from my chest. “Oh my gosh.”

“I bought this before the selection. Before…” he sucks in a sharp breath. “Before I was picked.”

I’m suddenly pissed. “They can’t do this to us, August! It’s not fair! We—we were going to get married!”

At the word “married,” I see him flinch. “Willow, it’s just not possible—“

“Yes it is!” I practically yell. “We could run away, anywhere where they couldn’t catch us. We could do it together: get married, have kids and create the life we dreamed about.”

“Baby, you know they’d catch us. They always do. There’s no point.”

In this moment, I watch beautiful August Fisher break. It wasn’t worth it to push him anymore, so I just whispered to him, “Okay,” and we laid there until the end of time.

•^+*

Until August, I hadn’t learned what real loss was. What real pain felt like. A bullet through the heart would be better than this. Heartbreak, in its purest, is the worst thing anyone can go through.

Until I watched August burn, scream in pain, thrash in agony, I had never said “I love you.” But I said it a million times just then, over and over with tears streaming down my face.

It’s been two years exactly since the day he died. I have never found anyone else and nor will there be anyone else, for no one could ever compare to my August Fisher.

Because until August, I had never learned to let go.