POEM STARTER

Comfortable Silence

Write a poem with this theme. Silence is often described as something negative; instead explore it in a positive light.

Silence Is Key

As I sit here and stare

My mind begins to wonder

I start to think of things everywhere

I can’t even hear the thunder

My mind is blocking out the noise

And is now allowed to unfold

No distracting shiny toys

That keep my mind in a mold

I sit in silence and compare

How peaceful this moment feels

No distractions to make me care

It’s so soothing that it heals

I start to feel beyond just me

About everything else in the world

I realize this was the key

My mind is now unfurled

I sit here to think, feel and listen

To connect to the inside

I feel it finally glisten

And i feel like my soul is supplied

Comments 2

Shadowdrake27

3 years ago

It was a very nice take on the prompt! The overall theme seemed to be about how silence is good for you and what it does (or how you feel) when you are able to just have a quiet moment alone. My favorite part was the part about “distracting shining toys” that “keep my mind in a mold.” In today’s world, so many people are over stimulated and constantly distracted that I thought this was a nice description of what it feels like to “unplug.”

The creativity was good. I thought it was an original take on the prompt since it wasn’t about the silence itself, rather, it was about the effects of silence in your life.

The pace I felt varied a lot. It started very slow. There were two stanzas dedicated to just how a moment of silence was opening your mind. The third is where you get into how it is making you feel, but it then it is kind of quickly moving you “this is everything and it healed my soul.” I think you would have benefited from slowing it down more and unpacking the feelings in your moment of silence a bit more. That being said, it probably wasn’t your intention to make this into an epic, so it works well enough as is. My personal feeling if that because you are slowing down for this moment of silence it would have been nice to see more about what you thought about everything in the world and why this moment fed your soul so much.

Character development was not really existent because there were no characters, haha. I feel like there was a lot you revealed about yourself through this though! Someone who is living in a chaotic life (like everyone is these days) that can’t even hear them selves think most times, as symbolized by the thunder. However, when you slow down and enjoy the silence it unlocks your mind and gets you out of the rut. The shiny toys are a great metaphor for those distractions in your life like you phone and T.V. That really keep you from deep thought and feeling whole sometimes. The healed and “unfurled” mind at the end is a great contrast to the “mold” your mind is in at the beginning as well.

Let’s see… I’ve rambled a lot. Other than that, this seemed like a simple free form poem with an ABAB rhyme scheme. Everything flowed nice and rhymed well. I don’t have much else to add. I hope some of this was helpful!

Jennifer Martinez

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