Why are you so nice to me?

I thought to myself

When my friend’s show that they care

Like everyone else

Why do I doubt

And why was I shy?

When there are no lies

between their eyes

Not hidden beneath

Like the dirt that’s under their feet

Unlike the soil

I had once longed to meet

No more do I keep score

Of story telling lore

Trying to one up each other

that’s not very mature

And secrets we keep

How I once longed to be your friend

That’s when I knew I made it

when I stopped counting to ten

Be nice to yourself

I heard her say

As I stood there awestruck

Waiting for the day

When I thought kindness was earned and not to be paid

out like a scheme that was meant to be unethically mean

And when did I stop being so unkind to myself

Like a hurricane that crashing down on itself

Before my heart turned black

It was soft and pink like bubblegum

still stuck in its pack

When I held expectations of people

But they could not run

And life isn’t fair

there are no games to be won

When everyone sometimes seems so incredibly cruel

Kindness was meant to be used as more than a tool