Nothing is ever more frustrating fighting for something you don't have.

You feel like you need to whine to get it. Like a child begging their parents for a new action figure walking down the Target aisle. It's a process you're almost begging for.

Well, that's me trying to find a job at the moment. I've convinced myself that I don't belong in the city that I'm currently living in. I truly don't know where I belong. There's more to life then this bubble I'm currently surrounded in. It's something I need to let my friends know, so they're not bummed I don't want to live with them.

My friends are pressuring me to take a round of shots with the gang. Ah, it's one Tequila shot right? What's the worst that can happen? That burning sensation tingling down your throat like a slip n slide mixed in with the sourness from sucking on the lime. I was a new man after that shot. One that could conquer the world.

I've been having a lot of these thoughts cross my mind but was never comfortable to share with my friends. I didn't think they would understand. Matter of fact they don't understand. They don't understand that there's more to life than the same bar every single weekend. They start huddling me in a corner interrogating me like I just committed a murder.

"Why don't you move out of your mom's already?"

"We're waiting for you so we can all room together"

"Why does it matter what job you have?"

The Tequila was flowing through my blood stream at this point. It lit a fire within me that I couldn't control. I knew I'd regret if I didn't say it right now.

"I don't want to live like this any longer. I'm tired of going to the same bar every weekend. I know there's more out there to life but none of you are intelligent to actually pursue anything in life."

Nobody said a word. They all looked at me like they needed to shove a Xanax down my throat.

"Bro relax we're just messing with you."

At this point they didn't understand. They didn't understand the countless job interviews that didn't lead me to anything or the disrespectful CEOs ghosting me like clockwork. They wanted the guy to take Tequila shots with. The guy who's there to constantly provide entertainment to the group.

Knowing your path is one thing, knowing you're in the wrong spot and have to adapt will make you have to figure out life real quick.