When the word medicine is spoken, what's the first thought that comes to mind?
Advil? Tylenol? Ointment? Hell maybe even sleep and water after a night out? Everyone always looks at medicine as a man made substance. Something that you must consume to feel better. But they overlook the true meaning of the best form of medicine.
Laughter.
Laughter brings people together. It shines a light on people who are truly gifted at perfecting it. It makes ladies fall in love with the feeling they get from someone. Seeing babies laugh is one of the most contagious experiences you can be a part of. Laughter truly can make someone's rainy day go away all in the blink of an eye.
But the man who truly knew the power laughter gave to someone? Well, his name would be Phil.
Phil was the guy you called up when you were having a bad day. Phil was someone who could turn a whole room's frown upside down with little to no effort. It was truly remarkable to witness live.
Phil always knew he had a special gift. With having prior experience in comedy skits and Netflix standup specials, Phil knew he could travel anywhere around the world and give people who are sick and in bad health something they could never take for granted: laughter.
Growing up, Phil was bullied for his bad habits. His weight, his inability to focus, even his clumsiness would only amplify Phil's self-worth. He felt stupid all the time. He felt like he couldn't amount to anything in life even if he tried. But something that he always admired and used as an escape? Well, laughter became his best medicine.
It became something he craved. Something that was his validation. He was never good at sports. He never could get the chance of asking the pretty girl out down the hallway. But he found a medicine that could lead him exactly where he wanted to be in life.
Making people laugh.
Next time you're feeling down on yourself and looking towards something man made to make all your problems go away, just know laughter can cure all.
Nothing is ever more frustrating fighting for something you don't have.
You feel like you need to whine to get it. Like a child begging their parents for a new action figure walking down the Target aisle. It's a process you're almost begging for.
Well, that's me trying to find a job at the moment. I've convinced myself that I don't belong in the city that I'm currently living in. I truly don't know where I belong. There's more to life then this bubble I'm currently surrounded in. It's something I need to let my friends know, so they're not bummed I don't want to live with them.
My friends are pressuring me to take a round of shots with the gang. Ah, it's one Tequila shot right? What's the worst that can happen? That burning sensation tingling down your throat like a slip n slide mixed in with the sourness from sucking on the lime. I was a new man after that shot. One that could conquer the world.
I've been having a lot of these thoughts cross my mind but was never comfortable to share with my friends. I didn't think they would understand. Matter of fact they don't understand. They don't understand that there's more to life than the same bar every single weekend. They start huddling me in a corner interrogating me like I just committed a murder.
"Why don't you move out of your mom's already?"
"We're waiting for you so we can all room together"
"Why does it matter what job you have?"
The Tequila was flowing through my blood stream at this point. It lit a fire within me that I couldn't control. I knew I'd regret if I didn't say it right now.
"I don't want to live like this any longer. I'm tired of going to the same bar every weekend. I know there's more out there to life but none of you are intelligent to actually pursue anything in life."
Nobody said a word. They all looked at me like they needed to shove a Xanax down my throat.
"Bro relax we're just messing with you."
At this point they didn't understand. They didn't understand the countless job interviews that didn't lead me to anything or the disrespectful CEOs ghosting me like clockwork. They wanted the guy to take Tequila shots with. The guy who's there to constantly provide entertainment to the group.
Knowing your path is one thing, knowing you're in the wrong spot and have to adapt will make you have to figure out life real quick.
Where in the hell did they put my NUTS?
I've been looking for the past week to get some nuts and once I finally have them they disappear on me?
You're meaning to tell me that the wind just picked up all the nuts I had next to me while I was sleeping?
I spent all god damn day in the trees over near New Jersey to find some nuts that would help last my cravings.
New Jersey nuts taste like something you stepped on walking the god forsaken boardwalk. You expecting me to be satisfied with that?
Absolutely pathetic. I bet it was that jerkoff Joey the tree next door that took them maybe?
I'm just a simple everyday squirrel who wants his nuts. Am I really asking for much?
You know what's one of the most underrated life achievements someone can fully get? Complete privacy. And when you've had a life as chaotic as mine has been, it's almost impossible to grasp.
Never in my life did I think I would be where I'm at today. My career, my health, the relationships I've made, and most importantly my family, have all dealt with the struggles of adjusting to the level of fame I have gotten to in my life. I'm not going to sit here and act like everything has been butterflies and rainbows.
Growing up my parents were not the best role models to begin with. My father was an avid gambler. Only time I saw that piece of shit was when he stumbled in the house at 3 am reeking of cigarettes getting back from the casino. My mother was a fat lazy pig who never did anything for herself. Talk about letting yourself go. To cope from all the negativity surrounding my home life, I wanted to be what any other 17-year-old class clown with no future wanted to be: a standup comedian.
Comedy was my escape. It gave me a reason to roll out of bed in the morning. Nothing in my life made me feel better than when I'm up on stage telling jokes to random folks for a simple giggle in exchange.
At age 19, I told my mother that I was dropping out of college to pursue my dream in comedy. She didn't think too much of it. Hell, she didn't think to much about anything else unless it had ice cream with it. Her encouragement was non-existent.
After dropping out of college, I worked as a busboy at a local comedy club down the street from my buddies house. Worked there every weekend for a solid two years. Watching comedian after comedian go up there and cause an uproar of laughter in the crowd of 30 people. Something special to witness.
Eagerly waiting for my chance to take the stage, I begged the comedy club owner to let me have a chance to do an act. Thursdays are one of our slower days before the big headliners on the weekends. The owner gave me one shot and I knew I wasn't going to let him down.
Thursday night comes around, and I'm shaking in my boots. It's my first time performing in front of a live audience this big. My act felt like I was up there for 4 hours, but it might've been 20 minutes. The crowd cracked a smile every once in a while, but never rolling out of their chairs. I closed my performance and walked off-stage. Maybe 2 out of the 40 people clapped. God was that embarrassing.
As I'm making my way back to my car in pure regret of full embarrassment, I get a tap on my shoulder. Having no idea who was touching me, and already being in a bad mood, I turned back aggressively. It was the comedy club owner. He said he wanted me to do another performance next week. He liked and my potential.
Routine after routine, bigger crowd after bigger crowd, venue after venue, you guys get the gist. I became NYC's biggest comedian just 6 months later. Talk about feeling on top of the fucking world. You know what they say, attention is a pure drug. And BOY was I getting massive amounts of it.
After years of stand-up shows, movies, interviews, parties with strippers and cocaine, it gets to a point where life kinda loses meaning. I was on top of the world and for what? I couldn't even go get a coffee without some stupid cameraman paparazzi dude begging to get any answers out of me. I got so fucking sick and tired of it.
As a young man battling through his 20s, fighting for attention, looking for some purpose to get him out of his home situation; I succeeded dearly. But at what cost?
The older you get, the more you realize that it's not always the fame, the drugs, the partying, or the money. It's about truly accepting some demons you may have with life, and making sure it doesn't control your life the way it once did.
I'm so tired of being misunderstood. Everytime I open my mouth about my thoughts about certain aspects of the world, I get crucified from my family. They don't see the same vision I do. Trying to explain to them how the world works or even how the world seems to change with technology. But most importantly, they don't see how humans communicate with one another the same way I do.
Listen, I know I'm some 15 year old kid. I can't even legally drive a car or even buy myself a drink at the bar. Hell, I haven't even had the chance to actually "get some" from this crush I've had on this girl down the street from me. I get it. I'm a young and inexperienced teen trying to make a name for himself in the real world. No one ever taught me how to do this shit. No one ever taught me how to grab life like it's mine. I have to figure out this process called life the hard way. And that's totally okay.
What I've noticed in my 15 years of living seems to evolve reoccurring patterns the longer I'm on this planet. People are always going to complain. People are always going to wish they had a better life than what they have in front of them. To top it all off, people are always going to be puppets to what the media shells out to them. The media could tell the world that there's a toilet paper shortage, and sure as hell everyone would sprint to grab the nearest batch from their local grocery store.
It has become so blatantly obvious how persuaded people can be. With my drawback of being 15, I'm constantly punched in the mouth with comebacks like "you're too young to understand" and "we've been doing this this way for decades you can't change it that easy". What my family doesn't agree with me on is my true obsession with artificial intelligence. A quote on quote buzz word that seems to be the talk of the town across all media platforms. Artificial intelligence explained in a 15-year-old tone would be the "future of the internet". We all agree that the internet is a NEED for people's everyday lives. We as humans can't live without it. Artificial Intelligence would be the next big step for mankind to live more simple lives altogether.
I spend my days and night researching Artifical Intelligence rather than hanging out with my friends or family. My family thinks I've gone mad. They're worried sick about me. My family thinks I need to invest into actual hobbies like golf or bowling to get my mind off of obsessing over how this could reshape how we live on planet earth.
One night as I'm diving deep in my computer with articles and softwares about Artificial intelligence, I stumbled across a chat bot called Bard. Bard basically is a chat bot that creates a conversational approach to anything I need information or inspiration on. To put into perspective, I'm talking to a robot. I'm chatting away as I hear a loud knock coming from my bedroom door. Turns out to be my mother saying I must come downstairs to celebrate my sisters 22nd birthday in the living room.
It was the last thing I wanted to attend at the moment. My family thought I was a loser anyway. Why do they care about my attendance downstairs? She's 22. Big whoop.
Before I leave, I asked Bard one last question "Will you take over the world one day?"
"Maybe some day." Bard shoots out a response in seconds.
Mindblown at the answer Bard gave me, I printed out our conversation, and decided it needed to be out of my hands - stored away safetly. Starting to fold one piece of the paper one side to the other, I created the most basic paper airplane possible. With the cold breeze hitting my window from outside, I lifted it up, took pression aim, and darted the plane down the street.
Hoping one day, in 500 years, someone was going to truly understand how powerful Artifical Intellegance can be.
Pacing around his bedroom, Brian's anxiousness was controlling him like a voodoo doll. Brian's company had scheduled an important meeting the next morning. A meeting that could jeopardize his career if it spiraled.
Brian worked for the biggest beverage distribution in the country. His role of head of strategy was to make sure customers were familiar and enjoying each product on shelves in local retailers. The company's data showed that customers were starting to get bored with the drinks. They wanted something new and fun.
With this meeting in the morning, Brian's job was to come up with a brand-new drink. Something customers loved and could drink anywhere at anytime.
Attempting to close his eyes and quiet his brain, Brian knew he wasn't getting much sleep. He had a couple ideas of new drinks and decided to role with one that could either make millions or get his ass fired. Stumbling into the office, Brian grabbed his laptop and walked up to give his presentation. His legs wobbled back forth. His eyes were wondering who to make eye contact with. The whole office was surrounded by corporate sharks money hungry to find the "next new big drink".
"Ladies and gentleman, I would like to thank you for your time to hear this idea for a new drink. This new drink I believe can revive our brand to our customers is called Liquid Death. Liquid Death is recyclable water for people who want an alternative to our old-fashioned beers. It has quality design and also perfect for concert goers." Brian explained while stuttering from nervousness.
"Let me stop you right there Brian. You're telling me you have us in here for this meeting for you to show us water in a can? Are you kidding me? You'd be an absolute fool to believe that would sell." Anthony, the CEO of the company, said in disbelief. "Pack up your bags you're fired."
Brian's whole body became paralyzed. He was skeptic of the idea, but he didn't think it would go THIS bad.
I don't know about you, but people watching is one of my all time favorite hobbies to do.
It's relaxing, mysterious, and a fun way of using your imagination. You never know what's going on with peoples' brain, so you make assumptions of what kind of person they are.
One of the all time best places to people watch? Times Square hands down.
It was a Sunday night, and I was tired of sitting in my apartment alone all day, so I decided to use my imagination and people watched at a table next to a bunch of stores.
Times Square is one of the few places I've ever been where the best term to describe the atmosphere is overwhelming. There's people EVERYWHERE.
White, black, asian, rich, poor, smelly, hot, cold, stupid, children, bikers, dancers, performers, dogs, rats, etc.
You can people watch at anytime of day and any time of week in the middle of Times Square and I promise you will never be bored.
As I sipped my espresso and took a bite of my floppy slice of pizza from Joe's, I noticed a familiar face. It was my ex that cheated on me. Probably not the person I would like to see at this moment.
She realized who I was in an instant. She gradually started to walk closer to me, and by the look on her eyes I could tell she wanted to start a conversation.
Her name was Tiffany. I told myself I never wanted to see her again, but with us both living in New York City, we were destined to run into each other at least once again right?
Tiffany went on and on about her new job at this fancy bank she works at. She says all she does every day is stare at money and hang out with rich people. She drives a brand-new Cadillac and has a million dollar condo overlooking Central Park.
Finally cutting her off, I told her I had to go let my dog out back at my apartment (I don't have a damn dog) to get her to shut up about her life I didn't care about. She went in to give me a hug goodbye when I noticed something sticking out of her purse.
It was a large wad of cash hanging loose in her purse. I understand that money goes into a purse, but this seemed like a decent amount in such a small purse.
I never said anything about it. Didn't care to. I wanted her to get away from me as I enjoyed my scheduled routine of people watching.
Later that night I went back to my apartment to realize that I forgot to turn off my TV. Annoyed at my stupidity, I turned the channel to the local New York news and all I could see was that giant scary red BREAKING across the bottom of the screen. Something was going down.
My eyes and jaw were as wide open as they get. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. The headline read "Local bank teller steals $5 million of assets from her employment at a bank" with Tiffany's face staring right at ya.
That's what you get for being a two timing bitch huh.
As we scroll our lives away and contiunue to create chaos in our minds
We choose to overlook something that's so simple to fall behind
Silence.
We choose to run away from it
We try not to suffer from our minds becoming bored
We want to be stimulated 24/7
We think silence is awkward, uncomfortable, and sometimes even loud.
We have to let our brains calm down.
We don't always have to be doing something.
We do not always have to constantly think and be afraid of how much goes into our brains.
We can sit in a room with friends quietly, without forcing conversation.
We can just enjoy each other presense.
We tend to neglect we are most silent are the people we care for the most.
So why do conversations always need to happen in social situations?
Let your brain be bored. You are alright. Stillness is the key.
As I'm waiting in line at Starbucks, smelling all the different kinds of brew
I feel a splash ripple off of my shoe
Looking down I notice my shoes are wetter than an ocean view
Some dumb girl spilled coffee all over me, how could someone be so rude?
Making eye contact to the woman and came to conclude
The girl was my old childhood crush, oh Sydney Hugh
Both of us smiled, like a 3rd grade summer in June
Switching from angry to an incredibly good mood
Sydney and I wiped off the rest of the coffee, asking her if she wanted to sit, chat, and stay till noon
She responded she was late and in a hurry, she didn't even have a few
Agrresivlely clicking my pen, I became anxious of the clock. My shift at work was dreadfully long. I haven't had a call in hours. Being a slow day in December, students from the university left to go back home to their families for the holidays.
All my co-workers have already clocked out. Me myself and I had to close up shop at the apartment complex downtown. The job was enjoyably simple, all I'm assigned to do is answer the phone and answer questions about our apartments. Sounds easy enough?
Then there were days when it's painfully slow. I jammed out to Frank Ocean's greatest hits on the TV. The beautiful melody has me closing my eyes and swaying back and forth to the lyrics. Dancing since there's no one in the office.
RING RING RING
Total vibe kill. I was daydreaming of a simpler life throughout the song and this random customer had to call during this shift huh.
"Thank you for calling Park East Apartments, this is Sean, how can I help you?"
Heavy breathing, almost alien like, was whistling through the speaker of the phone. As if the person was gasping for air and couldn't breathe.
"Sean, I'm going to tell you this one time. Grab a paper and pen and write this down for me."
Refusing to obey his demands I responded "Who even are you pal? Are you looking for an apartment? Would you like to schedule a tour?"
"Write down these numbers. 14 57 23 43 19. In that order. And turn on channel 4 at 7pm sharp. Don't forget these numbers. Your destiny awaits."
The call ended.
The numbers wrote down in the order of his command on a napkin close to me. Confused would be an understatement. Flipping through the TV channels, I came across channel four right on schedule. Still wondering what this guy was talking about.
"Welcome to tonight's power ball numbers ladies and gentleman. Here are our winning numbers for the night." the TV host announced.
Ain't no way I thought. Ain't no way this is what I think it is.
"And the winning numbers are 14 57 23 43 19. And it looks like Sean Armstrong from Rhode Island. You are our winner for tonight's 500 thousand dollar jackpot!"
Holy shit.
Reaching for the phone to call back the number of the man that gave me the numbers, I speed dialed all the earlier contacts till I saw the phone number.
The phone number you are trying to reach is no longer in service. GOODBYE
