“Look, mate, you don’t wanna be doing this!”

“Why not, darling?”

“Look, whatever happened to make you…like this, that’s in the past now. Whatever happened I’ve probably been there as well! I’ve been in most situations like this surprisingly and although you don’t wanna admit it, we might have a lot in common.

You see, when I was younger, my dad would always send me up to my room at 7:00pm at night every night. Do you know why?”

“No why?”

“Well, I didn’t find out until 5 years ago but turns out he was killing people in the basement,in one much like this one in the sense that the tools were the same, the layout and the careful selecting of each tool for each job. He only did this organisation because he thought it kept him under the radar. I cant tell you how wrong he was when 3 weeks later, the Charlies popperd round and came banging on our front door. I wish you’ve met him. He coulda talked a little sense into ya. Not through torture he wont like that, my dad. But he then realised soon enough that the way you get your name out there in the big bad world is the way you do things. Like himself for example, he always used the back of an hammer, and possibly a butcher’s knife or meat cleaver but they never worked well for him. Do you know why? Cuz 6 other murderers already built their name up by doing that same thing! He knew he was never getting nowhere.

Think about it, how many people might have used your same technique before you,eh? Two or three maybe? I don’t know. But saying who my father was, and how he treated us lot growing up, maybe just maybe I could help you instead?

I do have a lot of brains in me head you know. Although it may come as a little shock. Ha ha.

And can I tell you another secret? I’ve killed over 60,500 people. And do you know why? Cuz it’s part of me job description.

Now just think careful about whether or not me joining yas is a good idea but personally I’d be happy to work with you”

“Wait! Alright! Fine, if you insist.”

“Alright if YOU insist. Lesson one: thanks for falling for me”… “Catch ya later big guy” 😉😘