Sock Gnomes
Theyโre real,
you know?
Those
gnomes
steal
your
souls.
I mean socks.
They steal yourโฆ
socks.
Keep the doors locked -
it wonโt matter.
Sock Gnomes will come in through the window - theyโll use a ladder.
Keep your socks
upon your feet, friend.
Tie them tight
while youโre asleep, friend.
Always dry them
on low heat, friend.
Sock Gnomes are
drawn to socks aโshrinkinโ.
I once met one.
He said,
โMy nameโs Joe!โ
I said,
โWhoa whoa bro,
are you a fucking garden gnome?โ
He seemed offended,
as he said,
โIโm a Sock Gnome, bro,
and Iโm here to
steal your stinky soles!โ
โYouโre outta luck,
you gnome named Joe,
I sold my soul a year ago!โ
Joe rolled his eyes
and grabbed my foot,
he took a whiff and
seemed off-put.
My eyes left sockets,
As Joe the Gnome,
Removed my socks,
And stuffed his pockets.
So lock your home,
and guard your socks,
Sock Gnomes will come,
and steal your soul.
I meanโฆ socks.