Before I say

I don’t believe I should

My heads pulsing with thoughts

So very anxious thoughts

You want another

Yet I have none to give

The jar is empty,

Unlike my mind

You say you’re better

But is that the case?

I wish to believe yet

I rather set a time and place

Observe from the distance

Yet you know my face

You’ll stroll asking for forgiveness

I want to escape

You reach out after awhile

Asking, hoping for redemption

Wanting to get back with me

Yet I have no reservation

My heads stuffed enough

With these silly, pointless thoughts

The thought of another

Curls my insides into a void

I’m not ready for another beginning

I haven’t healed from the last

Please don’t force this down my throat again

I don’t want to do it

I’m as fragile as a doll

The glue still setting

The lewd jokes you made

Caused a chip in my side

I was cracking like before,

I ran to escape

I needed time to breathe

Time to let the wounds close

So when you ask for a chance

I’m so hesitant to do so

Since you already chipped the side

And the paints took a toll

I have so very much on my plate

Please let me debate

My mind is a war zone

After my phone donged

So please, let me be

I don’t need more of this

Please

Please, let me go

It hurts too much that you won’t say no

Please

Just…

Go…

Before I run back to you

Become something I don’t want to be

Do something I don’t want to do

Please just go

Please…